Phht! You Were Gone!

Archie Campbell




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            Where, oh where, are you tonight? Why did you leave me here all alone?

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            I searched the world over, and thought I found true love.

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            You met another and <Phht!> you were gone.



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1. I miss you so much, the taters need diggin' The corn in the field, it needs pickin' now

2. Down here on the farm the weather gets messy, Laying around with nothin' to do


3. Your lips are as red as boysenberries, Your ears look like a big cabbage leaf

4. You took off your leg, your wig and your glass eye, And you should've seen the look on my face


5. Remember you phoned me a-sobbin' and cryin', The dog bit your maw, and drug her around

6. I had six kids and you had eleven, And we had a boy, and they grew like flowers


7. I thought that my love was all that you wanted, I thought that my money meant nothin' to you

8. I know that you loved me, here's my way of knowing, The proofs hanging out right there on the line

9. The noises you made at our supper table, Your habits, my dear, were surely absurd



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1. How well I remember the first time I met you, You looked so purty a-pullin' that plow

2. When you went away, you took my cow Bessie, I miss her darling, more than I miss you


3. Your eyes bug out like an old pop-eyed mullet, Your hair's like haywire and hangs to your feet

4. I wanted to kiss, I wanted to hug you, But you were scattered all over the place


5. You said she looked pale and thought she was dying, I said "Don't worry, I'll buy a new hound."

6. I wish you'd come back, without you ain't heaven, Cause your kids and my kids are beatin' up ours


7. I thought that the hogs would stay in the hogpen, That's what I thought dear, but you took them too

8. When I see the snow and feel the wind blowing, Your nighties hugging them long johns of mine

9. But how many times do I have to tell you, Soup is a dish to be seen and not heard